DISCUSSION 4: Relationship Building

(Referencing ORGL-520 & ORGL-532)

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For our fourth discussion, I decided to further relate to the idea of relationship building and empathy, which I related back highly to my courses in Leadership, Justice, & Forgiveness (ORGL-532) and Negotiation & Conflict Resolution (ORGL-520). We discussed what it meant for each of us as leaders to discuss the ideas of forgiveness. I think many people understood the ideas of why forgiveness could be healing, so that they could help others and expressed the ideas of "not holding a grudge." In addition, one athlete expressed the idea of "forgive, but don't forget." I then asked the athletes about the other side of forgiveness, and we talked about the importance of asking for forgiveness. This allowed the athletes to truly think about what forgiveness meant from different and diverse perspectives. This related well to the ideas of restorative justice and providing opportunities to reconcile relationships. We talked about how this required vulnerability and a sense of awareness for oneself and others. Many athletes shared stories of how difficult it is to be open with others about mistakes and challenges. I helped introduce them to the idea of restorative justice, and how they can maintain established relationships with understanding, compassion, and empathy when there is still a firm foundation. This was one of the tougher conversations for the athletes thus far, as it required a deeper thought about difficult instances. 

 

We then tried an exercise to get the athletes thinking and interacting. I decided to have a very large bowl of water that I used as our 'ship yard.' I then handed out a square 8"x8" piece of aluminum foil to each of the athletes and told them that they had to produce the best boat they could over the next five minutes. Athletes started to think about different shapes and constructed unique vessels that would be put to the test. After their boats were complete, I told them that one by one we would be putting pennies in the boat to see how many pennies it would hold. The pennies represented their passengers, and they had to of course protect their passengers with their boat design. One by one, we tested the boats and then ranked each one to see how they fared. Some boats carried as few as 12 pennies, while the winning boat carried 32 pennies. We talked about the importance of putting a thoughtful approach into their design, and I gave them a second chance to redesign their boats to protect more passengers. After being given a new piece of foil and 5 more minutes to redesign their boats, most every athlete found that their boat now carried more pennies and was rebuilt with better intentions and refocused with a better design. This was an exercise in learning from experience and finding new solutions, reconciling and regrouping based on what was previously learned.

 

Just as their boats had been built stronger, they had to put more effort into the relationships that they created. Just as this 'boat making' example was a learning experience, we talked about how each of the relationships that we create is a learning experience. We learn from the mistakes that we make and we ask/give forgiveness accordingly because of this too. They had to be actively aware that their actions would affect others, just as it did with their 'passengers' or pennies in their boats. We talked about the ideas of reconciliation further and made sure that each athlete understood how to better focus, create, reconcile, and maintain the relationships in their lives using our interactive example.